Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
