Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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