Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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