it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
