sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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