I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
