I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize