in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
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