So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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