I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
