Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
