I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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