best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
