i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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