Jerry, you need to find god
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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