We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
