He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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