She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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