you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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