he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
