Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
