Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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