There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Green mimosas i think yes
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
is it fun? or sober?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
