yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
