Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
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