stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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