Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Of course I have a pirate flag
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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