Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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