I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
