just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
