i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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