1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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