She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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