Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Randomize
