We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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