Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
