go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Randomize
