I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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