I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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