yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
