just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
