So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
