Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Randomize
