Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
