His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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