Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
She's not a foreskin expert like you
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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