I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
