Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
