Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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