Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Randomize
