Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
