I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
i think my cat just said my name.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
