I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
It's rum buckets o'clock
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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