No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
My penis needs a shock collar
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
