1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
