I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
