I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
