normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Still dying that you shit outside
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Randomize
