I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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