So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize