Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
