let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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