last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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